Friday December 17^th, 2004

Once Again, I have been given a sense of relief, though this journal is belated to the situation. But that still doesn’t mean it can’t be written. Tyler got a hold of me Wednesday November 23^rd, 2004 and talked to me about the email. He wasn’t angry with me at all. He still wanted to be my friend. What more could I ask for, Well, beside him calling me a fool and staying with me as a boyfriend. Well, one can hope right. Not putting to much on that happening though. But, I am still very fortunate to still have him as a friend, though now more than two weeks after, I still think about what it would be like to still be with him. We seemed to click on so many different levels. I know that there were some things about me that probably bugged him a little, but he never told me. I also know now, after re-reading his online journals about me, that he really did, and most likely still does, care about me. And now he is just my friend. I should have fought harder to give Fate a chance. But, everything happens for a reason. Even though we may never see what the reason is at the time, doesn’t mean it is not there. I am having a hard time finding the reason why someone so special and unique is now my friend only. When he could have been so much more. I may never understand this cruel twist in fate. Perhaps it is better that I never understand that.

He is back home now, this time for good. He has graduated College and is now trying to settle into the home life again. I am so happy for him graduating! I missed the celebration because I couldn’t get up there in time, but my heart was there nonetheless, wishing him luck in life along with everyone else. He deserves it. Now I am in the works of getting together with him for the holidays so that I can give him his present for both his graduation and Christmas, I hope he likes them.

As for the being single part of my life, well, that is a toughy. I tried to look shortly afterwards, but unlike the past, I couldn’t even do that. In time I know I will be able to, but for now, I am content biding my time and letting my heart mend.

-Eric